The End of a Great Year

This is the end. The banquet is over and so ends my first year at Pacific Life Bible College. Words can't fully describe this past year. It surpassed everything I'd hoped and dreamed for. 

Dorm life was unreal. My roommate made my year with her quite wit and contagious passion for God. I took a picture of her on my cell phone in the Skytrain last night. It says it all. She's surrounded by strangers and sitting quiet with her Bible out. She is my inspiration. The camaraderie we had on the dorms was unmatched. We truly are a family, dysfunctional, but a family. Everyday was an adventure. You never knew what would happen. I loved the spontaenatity.  

My classes were eye opening. Despite some complaints about the boring content in a couple of them, most of my classes changed my outlook on my personal relationship with God. The classes got me asking questions about what I believed. Its important to question yourself. My teachers were passionate about the word and the students. All of them truly cared about us. 

My friends were perfection. The people here have drastically altered my life and I don't know where I would be without them. I deeply love and care for all of them which makes this end so hard. I know that it can never be the way it is now. Next year will be great, but different. I want to thank; Jess, Katie, Leah, Emily, Melissa, Grace, Bethany, Serena, Courtenay, and Kayla for being the best girls ever and brightening up each and every day. They are my dearest loves.

One year down...... three to go. 

Working Through It

My Thailand mission trip is 6 days away and because of this I'm in the midst of fierce attack from the enemy. My past week has been a flurry of papers and finals, wrapping up my first year of Bible College which collimated with my Holy Spirit final this morning. I've been studying into the night and stressing over my last assignments. Thailand meetings and e-mails are building with more and more stress about the current political situation and everyone's economic crisis. I've felt like I've been buried alive in issues and stress. So, with all of that, physically I'm falling apart. I've had a cold the last week and have tried to battle it with all my strength. But I've failed. The cold has gotten severe and it took me to the clinic. So now that school is all said and done, I'm laying in bed with: a throat infection, chest cold, stuffy nose, clogged head, dizziness, PINK EYE, constipation, and nausea mostly caused by my vomit episode at 3 o clock this morning. I'm in rough shape. At this point all I can do is rest and pray that God brings restoration to my broken body. 

Check It

Is it possible to be too cool for school? If so baby, I'm all over that! I've got street cred written all over me. 

Beauty in the Breakdown

Let Go by Frou Frou

Drink up, baby down

Mmm, are you in or are you out

Leave your things behind

Cause it's all going off without you

Excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy

These mishaps

You bubble wrap

When you've no idea what you're like

So let go, jump in

Oh well, whatcha waiting for

It's alright

Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

So let go, just get in

Oh, it's so amazing here

It's alright

Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

It gains the more it gives

And then it rises with the fall

So hand me that remote

Can't you see that all the stuff's a sideshow

Such boundless pleasure

We've no time for later now

You can't await your own arrival

You've 20 seconds to comply

So let go, jump in

Oh well, whatcha waiting for

It's alright

Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

So let go, just get in

Oh, it's so amazing here

It's alright

Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

Facing Reality

There are moments when you come to the realization that life isn't quite the way you thought it would be. You realize that you'd been living in a dream world and your current situation isn't as glamourous. Maybe all you wished that would come true will never. Maybe those dreams just aren't in the plans. Maybe this is when you've found yourself lost deep in your fantasy. Drowning in a future that will never exist.  A harsh reality. 

This is a point of surrender. Maybe you don't really know what the future holds. Admit it. You can't see that far. Face it and let it go.

Jess

As the semester draws to an end I've been reflecting on my first year of college, and I'm sure this will be the first of many posts about the year because there is simply too much to say. The biggest part of the whole year would have to be my roommate. Without Jess I wouldn't have made it through. Her comforting words in the midst of heartache, her laughter, and sacrifice by taking the top bunk, tell me that she is a true friend, and more of a dear sister.

Jess and I have never fought. We've never argued. Its remarkable considering the square footage of our room. No, room 205 has seen no hostility. Well.. we've killed our fair share of bugs, just look at our tribute to all the brave insects who've died in battle. (Crisman, Beatrice, Gabriel, Domonik, Rodrigo, the list goes on). We've laughed so hard we've cried and we've cried so hard we've laughed. We've got a system down on feeding our child (Scooter the fish) and we've got a schedule on who vacuums each week. We work well together. I will miss our talks over the summer and the comfort of knowing that there will be someone to tell your dreams too the second you wake up. God has blessed me with an incredible friend, one whom I hope I will never lose. 

Lost

It's one of those days. The days when my self-esteem has plummeted deep. So far gone that I can't even remember how it felt when I had it. Confidence is a thing of the past and has been replaced with self doubt. I love God, I know He's present in my life. But currently I'm not so excited about myself. I feel lost, forgotten. I wish I was hidden, gone. 

It's one of those days.