Today's Lesson.. Not a Fun One

I need to learn how to be a better friend. Three weekends in a row I've had fights with friends. Today I had two.

I think I need to shut my stupid mouth, then I might be a better friend.

Tough Lesson

I've tried really hard not to be a quitter. I hate to give up on things. I view it as weakness. It's pretty much the worst possible scenario. But... there are times when you have to give up. When you have to give up on things you aren't meant to have or aren't meant to be doing. Those things are the hardest to give up. Mostly because I'm pretty stubborn, I don't back down and I guess I pride myself on getting what I want. I'm a negotiator, a lawyer, I work the system and get what I want. So why can't I get this one? I think I just want a "win" and I'm not satisfied without it. But I need to learn how to give up. How to let go and let God.

Chaos and Control

I can't describe how I'm feeling right now. I've run out of adjectives. Tired, ill, overloaded, just don't cut it anymore. I've reached a new level of chaos. Record breaking stress.

This is where I give up and pray for God to swoop in and pick up the pieces.

July

I need July to come. I need to leave. I'm not running away as much as escaping for enough time to give my mind some space. Life is getting fuzzy and twisted and its becoming too much. The Bible College scene is good in small doses but I've reached my fill.

Come fly with me, lets fly, lets fly away.

Over My Head

Right now I feel like all my responsibilities are over my head. I worry that I'm not prepared to do all the tour stuff and most definitely all this Grenada stuff. Who am I to get all this responsibility? How am I qualified to write all the tour skits and the drime? Well I guess I'm not.

I was venting my worries to a friend and he brought up something very important. I know this... but I guess somedays I don't chose to believe it. God does not call the equipped, He equips the called. I know I'm called so there's a reason I'm doing all of this. I'm be equipped. Its on the job training. I guess I just wish it would all be a lot easier.