Fear Dreams

I had a dream last night that pulled me out of bed this morning at 6:45 to think it through. The dream boils down to "I hate change, I fear change, I fear being forgotten, I fear taking a backseat, and most of all I fear having to act like I'm perfectly fine with all of that." Right now I'm working through some things in my life. Like, who are my true friends and what does it all mean. The dream made me fear that I can't rely on the same people anymore. That I am gone and everything will change and I will be in the dark. I fear coming back in January to PLBC. Maybe it would be easier if I just didn't come back. Or maybe it wouldn't. Once again I struggle with "where is my place?" So much going on in my mind this morning, maybe I should try to go back to sleep and dream something pleasant.