At the Gate

During worship yesterday we sang a song with the line "You are my shield" and when we began to sing it I saw a vision of my heart. And in front of my heard was a large shield. The shield was beaten up, obviously well used in battle. The kind of shield that Russell Crowe would carry in any of his movies. His characters are full of battle experience, highly respected in battle, and not to be trifled with. I heard the Lord say, "That's my shield, and I'll guard your heart." I started to think about the awful job I've done in guarding my own heart. Time and time again at the third hour of the night I fall asleep at the gate. It's extraordinary actually. I'm such a bad guard that its like when the enemy comes, and I can sense him, that's when I choose to lay down and take a nap. Its almost like I want him to come in and attack my heart. But here's the good news. Jehovah never sleeps. I knew yesterday that God was calling me to give up the job and allow Him to step in and guard my heart. So many times in my life God calls me to give up control and allow Him to take over. It's proved to be a difficult task for me but its an area I'm growing in. I need to realize that God has good things in store for me so I can trust His control.