Numb

Often times we mistake numbness for healing. "Oh, I don't hurt anymore, so that means that I'm cured." But numbness isn't a cure. Its a temporary feeling that occurs when the mind is overwhelmed and unable to deal with a crisis anymore. The key word is temporary meaning that the feeling will wear off. In many situations its just easier for the mind to shut down then to come to terms with the source of the crisis. Healing comes from the Father. It's His love that makes us whole. Usually that healing isn't a clean easy process; its from the inside out. When we allow God to get to the core of us, to the center of the problem, then the healing isn't temporary, it isn't artificial, its complete.
This is a hard lesson that I'm learning this week. Something I thought I had dealt with I had apparently just buried so deep inside that I didn't even know it was there anymore. But almost like a time bomb ready to go off at a precise moment it came up from the depths and resurfaced. But this time I recognized the problem and went at it accordingly. No more numbness, no more short lived so called peace, I want the real deal.
The next step is surgery; a highly vulnerable procedure to remove the dead tissue in my life. Surgery in the physical is frightening. The inner most parts of me exposed in a cold sterile operating room with me helpless to do anything about it. Secrets revealed, scars formed. But God has a different plan. His surgery isn't invasive and it doesn't result in scars. It sounds perfect, but why does it always take me so long to realize I need it? Why does it take me so long to admit I need to go to a doctor? Same question. Because I always think I can get better on my own. So here I am, admitting that I can't heal myself and I need God's expertise. Open me up and lets get to the bottom of this.


Shhh... don't bother the surgeon while He's working...