I've been thinking a lot recently about competition. I am competitive by human nature, but lately I've been seeing that maybe I'm not competitive enough. I give up too easy. I had a conversation with someone last year that told me that I always get what I want. Something like, "If you give an idea, everyone just goes with it without question. And your plans or ideas always end up happening." Well, friend, my ideas rarely end up happening. Sure on a small scale such as "lets go to McDonalds instead of Wendys" (that's worked a few times on this trip... unfortunately not enough. haha) But when it comes to the big stuff, the stuff the requires a fight, a bit of competition to get my way, I graciously bow out without question. Maybe I don't have the guts to see my dreams come to completion. Maybe I'm dreaming too big and I'm not a skilled enough fighter to see them happen. I dream of things and people that are out of league. I dream big. Ridiculously big. Impossibly big.
Suddenly today, I feel very small.
This picture describes my life right now. I'm in front of a big scary building, with a big scary door but for some reason I have this powerful urge and almost need to go in it. I walk up... and its locked.
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