Manifesto

Recently I've been on a mission to develop what I call my Dating Manifesto. And I suppose listening to all three sessions of Loveology by John Mark the pastor of The Way in Portland has sparked an interest to get all of my thoughts down in writing. Mostly so I can refer back. I've blogged before briefly about a few of these things, but I'm trying to link all of this together, so bear with me. So here goes nothing, my attempt to capture the millions of thoughts swarming around in my head on my life and dating.

dramatic pause

I am nearly 21 years old and I am single. By choice? Negatory. Happy about it? Yes. WHAT? Yeah, I said it. Love in the physical Hallmark card sense is something I've yet to experience. Never have I held a boys hand, or cuddled on the couch, and never have I kissed anyone. Now according to what the media wants you to believe, I would be among the minority. However, that's not exactly true. I know there are lots of people out there in the same boat as me, we just don't seem to broadcast it : ) But here I am and I'll shout it from the mountain tops. I have EVERYTHING to give my future husband.
I've been labeled in the past as the rough American girl with the redneck family. I was raised a tomboy. I can shoot a gun just as good as most guys. I don't have a problem talking about farts and poop. I've never been seen as the "princess" type. But believe it or not, I'm probably one of the biggest "hopeless romantics" you'll ever meet. Get past my tough exterior and you'll find the woman inside that just wants to be loved.
With several years of singleness behind me, I've had my fair share of time to develop my "list." Now before you roll your eyes and think "oh dear, THE LIST." I'd like to think my list is a little different then most. The typical reputation of a "My perfect guy list" (in pink glitter pen) is a list of stupid requirements that are absolutely impossible for any guy to achieve or to look like. And any girl that's going to rely on such nonsense better get used to seeing movies alone. BUT my list is different. I have zero expectations on appearance. Black hair, brown hair, no hair, I really couldn't care less. Sure us girls just melt at the sight of bulging biceps but that's not one of my requirements. I know that God has someone incredible lined up for me and I don't want to have any expectations of his appearance.

So here's a little glimpse of my list, or better said, what I'm waiting for:
I'm waiting for a man who doesn't compromise on the dreams that God has put in his heart. A man that has the guts to pursue his calling without question. A man that has the drive to get things done.
I'm waiting for a man who's love for the Lord is visible and contagious. A man that will be my spiritual leader.
I'm waiting for a man who is chaos to my order. Someone who will balance me and teach me to lighten up.
I'm waiting for a man who will be my poet warrior. Sensitive to his emotions, to the Spirit, and to my emotions and needs. But a man that will fight for what he wants, for what I want, and for what God wants.
I'm waiting for a man that will pursue me. A man that sees me for who I am and sees me also for who I will be as his wife and the mother of his children. A man who despite my independent personality, dares to approach me and become vulnerable with me and share his heart. A man who really cares to get to know me.

So how does that play out in dating?
Considering that I have so much to give to this man, and so do all girls, I cannot afford to settle. Those "requirements" "expectations" or whatever you want to call them that I just listed; are found in my future man. He will possess all of them and he will find me. Therefore, I refuse to pursue any guy in any way. I also will not waste my time "crushing" on guys because that truly is a waste of my time and a waste of space in my heart. Girls can get so caught up in liking someone that they can sort of "emotionally date" them and they can actually give their heart to this guy without him even knowing it. I am no exception. I speak from experience. But I stand now, firmly declaring that I will not waste time on any guy that is not the one that God has planned for me. I believe that I was designed with him in mind and that he will complete me and I him. In my own life, there will be no dating anyone I'm not 100% sure that he will be my husband. I will not give away my first kiss to anyone who isn't him. There will be no settling.

So that's me. That's what I'm waiting for. But how does this work with everyone else? Well, girls, you are worth so much. No matter where you are in your path, past relationships or not, you have A LOT to offer your future husband. I think that so often girls don't see their own value so they go around seeing themselves as cheap and acting like it. But that's not the case! As daughters of the King we are worth waiting for. And so are our husbands!

Ok, its getting really really late and I need to go to bed. There's a piece of my thoughts as of late.