This Is For Real

I'm so glad that I created this blog this year. Its proved to be my point of release. What a healthy positive way to unleash everything that's pent up inside. A couple of nights ago I took some time to read through the past couple of months of posts. I sat in a dark room and read them out loud so that my own ears could hear all that God has done for me this year. This blog is a testimony of God incredible grace in my life.

Recently, starting at Rockridge, I've had such a focus switch. My focus is moving towards God, my job, and my friends relationship with God. And this is real, this is not me just saying that I've changed so that I sound "holy" it is an actual transformation. This hasn't been easy and its been a test after test from God to find out if this lesson is sticking. For example, Thursday morning I had a breakdown. I left early from class, took a drive, yelled at God, cried at God, and listened to God, it was beautiful. Afterwards I sat in a random parking lot in Newton and wailed on the phone with my mom. At the end of my pity fest with her she told me to worship and count my blessings because "if you can thank God in the midst of this then you have the world beat." This wasn't a new concept for me, I always struggle with worshiping despite my circumstances. But I knew I needed to champion this so I began to worship God for His ever present presence in my life. My attitude did a 180 immediately and my day ended up being pretty great. I know that was a test to see where I stood with God in the bad times. During worship we sang a song "You are God Alone" and a line said "and right now, in the good times and bad, you are on the throne, you are God alone". No matter what I'm going through God is still sovereign and He still cares for me. He is never distant He's as close as my skin.