Broken Boxes

Thailand was incredible. Words can't really describe. God worked on me in ways I never imagined. Here is a blurb taken from my journal:

"Day 12- It's pretty pathetic how much girls dwell on love. We always have some boy on our minds. Sometimes it consumes me. I try to think of something else but all I can think of is my future and how much I want him to be apart of it. Sometimes I feel imprisoned by my own mind. My plans put me in a such a constricted box. I can't get out of it no matter how hard I try. The box is made of glass which taunts me with its transparency. I can see reality but I cannot touch it because of what I've built for myself and every time my plans fail the box shatters and I build my new box over the broken remains of the previous one. With every broken box my knees get bloodier and bloodier from the shards of glass. At this point my knees are deeply scarred and it seems like those scars have become a part of my identity. I carry them with me. If anyone asked I could tell them the story behind each and every one of them. About what caused them and how long it took to heal. Each of my scars are a testimony of God's redeeming love. How He always pulls me out of my deepest pain and begins the healing process. "

"Day 28-It's about time I started dancing over all these broken boxes and rejoice over what God has brought me through. I put the past behind me and rest in the security I've found in the King. I lay down all my scars to my loving Savior. I surrender any hidden agendas or plans for a distant future. Oh God, I can not begin to fathom the plans you have for me. I realize that I am in process. I am a beautiful painting you're working on. Lord, help me to move out of the way from  your plan, I'm sorry I've gotten in the way. God, I remove myself and submit to you and your promises. You alone know the future and you alone are faithful."